I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
