I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
