Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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