Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize