I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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