he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize