Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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