I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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