Are we in a gay sports bar?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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