I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Girls should come with a carfax report
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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