OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize