Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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