I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
