fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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