Pants 0. Shit 1.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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