One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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