so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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