Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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