we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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