He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
