so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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