i think i have two assholes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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