who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
