i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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