Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
