Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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