She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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