So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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