I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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