you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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