you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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