Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
