Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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