I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
