I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
