i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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