My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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