I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
God I need to hump something, right now.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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