She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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