Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner