he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff