Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?