Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.