He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
