the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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