She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize