She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
