but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
