Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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