Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
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Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just high enough for therapy.
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We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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