we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just cropdusted the office
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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