Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
