I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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