Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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