Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
