that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
