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• (323): View more from California

  You know you want to come over later

  (1-323): View more from California

  1:27a: Um no

  (1-323): View more from California

  1:45a: Maybe

  (1-323): View more from California

  2:05a: Probably

  (1-323): View more from California

  2:38a: I'm outside, let me in

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

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• (323): View more from California

  Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  The feeling are messing with the penis

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• (214): View more from Texas

  He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available

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