How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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