Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize