question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
