I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
