shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How naked do you want me to be?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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