More tranny stories later!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Someone signed my nipple.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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