If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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