I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize