she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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