In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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